In Memory Of John Barton Langsford Sensei
John Barton Langsford Sensei (1955-2001)
I wanted to share a letter Bart had printed in "Aikido Today Magazine" In Sept of 1995.
I hope this gives you all a little more understanding of who Bart Was.
He was my best friend and I feel him everytime I teach a class and that will never change. He will always be part of Our Dojo.
Thank you Bart.
Bart's Letter to Aikido Today Mag. "Aikido From The Heart"
I trained for many years, but something was missing. I could not relax my Ki. I felt an empty space. So i began to study Aikido on my own through books(I could not find a school.) I found some Aikido seminars, I enjoyed them, and decided that this was what i had been missing.
Before I was able to join an Aikido Dojo, I fell ill
with an upper chest infestion. By the time the virus was defeated, the infection had severly damaged my heart. I had to have a pacemaker put in to stabilize my heart functions. After a while, I was back on my feet again, slowly trying to get into shape. I walked alot, did stretches, lifted weights, and worked on breathing exercises.
Suddenly I bcame weaker, and my pacemaker had to be replaced. I found out that my heart was dying and that iI would need to have a heart transplant. This was very frightening for me. For the second time, I was to face an enemy that i could not see.
I ended up going to the Kansas University Medical Center. For 3 months, I Couldn't move to brush my teeth, eat, or take care of myself. During this time, I kept thinking, "There is too much to do yet. My task on this Earth can't be over." I began to doubt that I would make it. I had seizures, and lost alot of weight. Then one day, I got mad at myself. What was I doing? I was quitting!"No WAY," I said to myself. So, I decided to put goals in front of myself each day. I promised myself to hang on untill a heart arrived, to finish my Degrees in Martial Arts, And To take up Aikido. With the help of the doctors, nurses, friends, And family, I beagn to get stubborn. I put my KI to work and snarled at the thought of death.
On October 31,1994(Halloween night) I had the worst battle yet, but i kept fighting. A gleam of light came into my room about 7:00P.m.-A nurse with a smile on her face and a whisper of hope. She said that a donor had been found, and that the doctors were preparing for surgery. The time had arrived. I was rushed to the surgical area.
After 3 days of sleep, I woke up still fighting and remembering not to quit.
Next to my room there was a 6 month old baby girl who went through the same thing I had-A life-and-death battle. I thought to myself" what a brave little warrior she must be." She started life with a battle-at least I had time to prepare for it.
This little girl made it. I hope she never quits. She gave me an incentive to carry on.
For 3 or 4 months I had to relearn how to walk. I kept putting small goals in front of myself. After I was released from the Hospital, It took another year of therapy before I was fit enough to continue training in the Martial Arts. I remembered the Goals that I had put in front of myself, And I Looked for an Aikido Dojo.
Finally, I Found an Aikido demo in Topeka, Ks. Looking back on the pain and the face-to-face encounter with death, I certainly was not going to quit now. I joined the Topeka Aikido Dojo.
It took me 10 years to get to Aikido, and now that I have found it, I won't let go. I love the Class...
My heath is improving, And so im my outlook on life. I find myself more relaxed, And my problems don't seem as big. Also, I'm more self-confident.
Aikido has helped me in my other martial arts. I'm More relaxed, More sure of my movements, quicker, and don't telegraph as much as I did before.
I'm very glad that i found Aikido. Even though I am Disabled,I can still meet my goals using the KI that was given to to use and develop. I believe that all people, Handicapped or not, can strive toward a better life through the development of KI.
IF I can do it, So can you!
John Bart Langsford Sensei(1955-2001)